Light or Darkness?

A thought occurred to me tonight, as I was nearing the conclusion of Phyllis Curott’s memoir Book of Shadows:

For so many years, I attempted to walk in what was deemed “the light” by so many.  And to an overwhelming degree, it brought only anger, frustration, and pain.  It brought, almost without exception, a denial of my gifts, a denial of my potentials as a human being.  Its offspring taught me how to fear, how to hate, how to pass judgment on myself and others. 

And yet now, here I am, attempting to walk in what most have called the Darkness: the way of Wicca, the “old ways,” the ways of the pagan and of the Mother Earth.  And paradoxically enough, it would appear that only now am I beginning to heal, or to see even the potential for divine love and healing.  For sure, I have a long way to go.  But there is a growing sense that something is growing here, and that this something holds real potential for love, for light, for openness, and for generosity towards self, Spirit and others such as I may have never seen in my lifetime. 

Goddess, how do I describe, or account for this, in ways that will make any sense to others?  Or, for now, do I need to merely abide in the process, seeking to learn to walk this path, unhurriedly, while I seek also to learn its lessons – and learn who I am, and what I can become?